What Do You Want?
    What Do You Want? A Blueprint for a Life Worth Living by Mike Ruman, book cover

    You know what everyone else needs.
    What do you want?

    You spend your days providing, fixing, and showing up for everyone else. When it comes to what you want from your own life, where do you start? This book helps you put your answer on paper, look at all six rooms of your life, and choose one step you can take this week.

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    A check-in

    This Book Is For You If...

    This Book Is Not For You If...

    • You have it all figured out.
    • You want the how before the why.
    • You’re hoping someone will tell you what to want.
    • You want another book to read and nothing to change.
    • You want more, and you’d rather not ask what it’s for.
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    The question

    When did someone last ask you what you want?

    The assignment sounds simple: one question, forty-five minutes, and a blank page. What do you want? You might expect to be done in ten. Try answering without listing what everyone else needs from you.

    You may know what your company needs. What your kids need. What your wife needs from you. But take those responsibilities off the page for a moment. What do you want your life to look like?

    You don't need a polished answer to start. You need room to ask the question honestly.

    THE QUESTIONWhat do youwant?45 MINUTES
    You are writing your eulogy right now. You're still holding the pen.
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    An example, not a template

    Your answer can fit
    in five sentences.

    What I want is to walk with God on Tuesdays, not just Sundays.

    I want to be my wife's best friend and the first call my kids make.

    I want to work with people I enjoy and make complicated things simple.

    I want to be a pipe, not a bucket, with what I've been given.

    And I want to laugh often, walk my own trail, chase grandkids, and keep five friends who answer at 2 a.m.

    Your answer doesn't have to sound like this. These are my five sentences, not instructions for your life. Use them to see what's possible, then write something that sounds like you.

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    A way to build

    A house, not a wish list.

    Most plans start with the goal. Twenty pounds. Fifty thousand dollars. That skips the question underneath: what would that make possible, and why does it matter to you?

    You'll work through it in order. Why, then want, then goal: what your life is for, what you want in it, what you'll do about it. A wish list takes anything you write on it. A house makes you say what a room is for before you furnish it.

    A life isn't a peak you bag. It's a place you keep.

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    A house you can draw on a napkin

    Your life has six rooms.
    Which one needs your attention?

    FAITHFAMILYFITNESSFUELFINANCESFUNYour CodeYour Why

    You don’t have to fix everything at once. Start with one room and one step you can take this week.

    01

    The Foundation

    Your why. One sentence about what your life is for. Not a goal or another obligation. Something you can come back to when a hard season makes your choices less clear.

    02

    The Six Rooms

    Faith, Family, Fitness, Fuel, Finances, Fun. Six F's you can remember when life gets loud. Every room gets the same four questions: why it matters, what you want here, who you're becoming, who it's for.

    03

    The Roof

    Your code: three to five principles that help you decide what to say yes to. You'll name what comes first when two good things compete for your time.

    The Six Rooms

    Faith

    When did you last talk to God when nothing was wrong?

    Family

    What does your wife, or your kid, no longer bring to you?

    Fitness

    What's the first physical thing you've quietly stopped doing?

    Fuel

    What do you reach for after a hard day, and how does it leave you?

    Finances

    Do you know the number where more money stops buying more life?

    Fun

    What did you do for fun at twelve, and when did it stop?

    Start with the room that needs you

    Which room is yours?

    Use the free Blueprint to look at all six rooms, put what you want into words, and give your first step a place on the calendar.

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    When you finish

    What you'll walk away with.

    One page, in your handwriting, that runs your next year.

    • Your why, in one sentenceCh. 5
    • All six rooms graded, with what you actually want in eachChs. 7 to 12
    • Your answer to 'What do you want?' in five sentences or fewerCh. 13
    • Your code: three to five lines that make hard decisions easierCh. 13
    • One room under renovation, with the first step on your calendarCh. 13
    • A monthly walk-through, so it doesn't fade by springCh. 14
    • A Teach Kit to hand it to another manCh. 16
    WHAT DO YOU WANT?WORKSHEET PREVIEW

    One page · As of today

    My Blueprint

    Fill it in from the work you’ve already done. In pencil, because you’ll rewrite it.

    What I want Ch. 13 · five sentences or fewer
    My why Ch. 5
    My eulogy sentence Ch. 1
    My six roomsChs. 7–12 · grade / want / who it’s for
    Faith
    Family
    Fitness
    Fuel
    Finances
    Fun
    This season Ch. 13 · room / project / first step
    My walk-through Ch. 14 · monthly review / yearly rewrite date
    ONE PAGE. YOUR ANSWER, STARTING.01
    Download The BlueprintDownload Mike's Sample Blueprint

    One page. Type into it or print it.

    What's inside.

    Sixteen short chapters in four parts, plus the Teach Kit. You'll finish each chapter with one thing to do that week.

    The front porch

    Chapters 1 and 2

    The question, the funeral, and the house you can draw on a napkin.

    The foundation

    Chapters 3 to 6

    Whose voices you've been living by, what you're rushing through, your why, and what your calendar and bank statement actually say.

    The rooms

    Chapters 7 to 12

    Faith, Family, Fitness, Fuel, Finances, Fun. Four questions in each, and one action.

    The build

    Chapters 13 to 15

    Your answer in five sentences, a plan for one room, and how to keep the house standing.

    Pay it forward

    Chapter 16

    The Teach Kit: a napkin sketch, a fifteen-minute script, and three questions to walk another man through it.

    This book is about what you want. For the how, it points you to the best books on each room.

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    The story behind the book

    The Story Behind What Do You Want?

    Alan Briggs (left) and Mike Ruman beside a tall cactus at the retreat
    Alan Briggs (left), the man who asked the question that started this whole thing. And, this is us at the retreat.

    If this question stays with you after you close the page, you don't have to figure it out alone. That's why this book exists. At a leadership retreat, Alan Briggs gave us forty-five minutes to answer it. I expected to be done in ten. I left with a page of crossed-out words.

    It took me three years to answer it. Books, movies, studies on meaning and regret, conversations with my wife and coaches, and a hospice certification helped me understand what mattered. That page in my Moleskine became twelve pages I still revisit every year.

    You don't need to repeat those three years of searching. The book puts the steps in order so you can do the work in your own life: write your answer, choose a room, and give your first step a place on the calendar.

    Mike Ruman

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    I'm Mike Ruman

    About me

    Mike Ruman

    You don't need to have your life figured out to begin. I'm a dad of four, and I wrote this while working through the question myself, not after finding a perfect answer.

    I earned my accounting degree from Michigan State and started at a CPA firm in Toledo. MMA led me to build a media company. Today I own two marketing companies in Colorado, and I had my first sanctioned fight at thirty-nine. I wrote The Five Doors and The Healthy Dad's Playbook, and founded Healthy Dads.

    fivedoorsbook.com HealthyDads.com mikeruman.com
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    Take the pencil back

    Make room for your answer.

    One question. Six rooms. A plan you can start this week.

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    Launch notification

    Know when the book launches.

    Leave your email to be notified when What Do You Want? is available.

    You'll get an email when the book launches. No purchase or reservation.

    Genre

    Nonfiction, life design. Faith-forward.

    Length

    About 20,000 words. Two sittings. Sixteen chapters.

    Format

    Paperback and ebook, coming soon.

    Questions

    Frequently Asked Questions

    Is this a Christian book?

    Yes, and openly. Faith is the first room and the foundation of the book. If you don't share that faith, you can still work through the method and the other five rooms. You'll answer the first room differently.

    Do I have to be a dad?

    No. If you spend most of your week taking care of other people, the six rooms give you a way to look at your own life. Many of the stories are about fathers, but you don't have to be one to do the work.

    Can I start before the book launches?

    Yes. Download the free Blueprint and start putting your answer on paper. Use it to look at the six rooms of your life and choose one step you can take this week.

    How long does it take to read?

    Two sittings. Each chapter ends with one thing to do that week, so the doing takes longer than the reading, on purpose.

    What's the Teach Kit?

    The last chapter. A napkin sketch, a fifteen-minute script, and three questions, so you can walk another man through the house without rereading the book.

    Can I run it with a group?

    Yes. Read two chapters a week, do the actions, and use the Teach Kit to run the meeting. Each person can use the free Blueprint to put their own answer on paper.

    Is this the same as The Healthy Dad's Playbook?

    No. This book is about what you want. The Healthy Dad's Playbook is the how for the Fitness and Fuel rooms. Start here, then go there.

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